The SUCCESS Formula for Negotiation (That Actually Works in the Real World)

Let’s be honest for a minute.

Negotiation? For most folks, it brings to mind boardrooms, high-stakes deals, maybe even sweaty palms and a whiteboard full of meaningless buzzwords. But in reality, negotiation is a lot less Hollywood drama and a lot more human psychology, timing, and a touch of emotional judo.

I’ve worked with managers, directors, and sales pros who could build a killer strategy deck or lead a team into battle but freeze when it's time to sit across the table and talk terms. It’s not that they’re not smart, far from it. It’s just that no one ever gave them a roadmap for how this dance actually works.

That’s where the SUCCESS formula comes in. I invented it with a colleague several years ago. Since that time, I have used it, tested it, and put it through enough real-world trials that I can say without doubt that it works in virtually any negotiating situation.

So let’s unpack it, piece by piece, like we’re talking shop over a strong cup of coffee. No fluff. Just practical wisdom you can actually use.

S - Set the Stage

First things first. If you walk into a negotiation with your jaw clenched and a "let’s win this war" mentality, congratulations, you just made everything harder for everyone, including yourself.

Negotiation is not a cage match. It’s not “me vs. them.” It’s two people trying to solve a problem from opposite sides of the fence.

Want to level up fast? Change the atmosphere.

  • Sit next to them instead of across

  • Match their energy

  • Mirror their body language (subtly)

  • Speak at a similar pace

This small shift can turn tension into trust and set a tone that says, “We’re on the same team here.”

S - Set the stage

U - Uncover the Issues

This is the most important step in negotiation, and it’s where most rookies blow it. They talk too soon and listen too little.

Before you start tossing offers or setting ultimatums, take a deep breath and dig in. What’s really going on here? What does the other side want, and not just on paper?

Ask open questions like:

  • “What’s important to you here?”

  • “What are you hoping to walk away with?”

  • “Why does that matter so much to you?”

Sometimes what they say first is just the headline. The real story’s in the subtext. You’re not just gathering facts here; you’re building empathy, earning trust, and getting the kind of information that lets you solve the right problem, not just the loudest one.

And go beyond just finding out what they want. Often, it’s even more important to understand why they want it. How often have you had this happen? You’re in a negotiation with someone, you get a list of what they’re after, but when you press for why they want it, you realize that what they want isn’t actually the best solution to their problem.

Why is everything? That’s why, at this point in the negotiation, you need to be really good at zeroing in on the why. You might look a little puzzled and say, “I’m not sure if we can make this work or not, but I’m just curious… if we could make it happen, what would change?”

What are you fishing for there? You’re fishing for the why.

When you get clear on why they want it, you begin to understand their drivers, and that’s the key. This is also a good time for you to put your cards on the table. What do you want out of this? They need to know. 

S - Set the stage

U - Uncover the Issues: Find out what they want and why they want it.

C - Confine the Issues

Now that the cards are on the table, it’s time to box them in. Not to trap anyone, but to protect both of you from that dreaded moment. You know the one. You’re at the end of a negotiation, you think you’re in really good shape, and then you hear, “Oh yeah, one more thing…”

Why confine the issues?

  • Avoid last-minute surprises

  • Keep both sides focused and aligned

  • Reduce misunderstandings later

When the conversation’s rolling and you’ve got their main concerns down, pause and ask:

  • “Is there anything else we should be talking about before we move forward?”

Wait. Then, when they’re done, write it all down. Draw a box around it. Make it visible. Make it final.

S - Set the stage

U - Uncover the Issues

C - Confine the Issues

C - Confirm Intent and Authority

Have you ever gotten deep into a negotiation, feel the momentum, shake hands on what feels like a done deal, and then they hit you with, “Well, I’ll need to run this by my boss…”

That sound you hear is your week collapsing.

Before you go any further, confirm two things:

Confirm intent:

  • “If we can find agreement on everything we’ve listed, can we move forward?”

Confirm authority:

  • “Besides you, who else will be involved in the final decision?”

You’re not challenging them. You’re respecting the process. Most people aren’t the only decision-maker, and pretending otherwise helps no one.

S - Set the stage

U - Uncover the Issues

C - Confine the Issues

C - Confirm Intent and Authority

E - Evaluate the Issues

Not all issues are created equal. Sort them out using the three Bs:

  • Breadcrumbs – Minor stuff. You can sweep these away. Easy to give. Builds goodwill.

  • Bacon – As in Bringing home the bacon”. This is the meat of the deal. Think money, terms, and scope.

  • Blockers – Deal-breakers. Spot them early or suffer later.

You're doing this evaluation internally. This is where your instincts matter. Don’t get stuck chasing bacon while ignoring a blocker quietly smoldering in the corner.

We’ve set the stage. We’ve uncovered the issues. We’ve confined the issues. We’ve confirmed intent and authority. We’ve evaluated the issues… and now, it's finally time to negotiate. We call that solving the problem.

Side note: We’re still not negotiating yet. Everything until now has been prep. And trust me, the pros spend more time here than in the back-and-forth.  It’s finally time to negotiate - and we call that - Solving the problem.

S - Set the stage

U - Uncover the Issues

C - Confine the Issues

C - Confirm Intent and Authority

E - Evaluate the Issues

S - Solve the Problem

Now we negotiate.

This is what most folks think it’s all about: tactics, strategy, compromise, and power plays. But if you’ve done the first five steps right, this part is smoother than you think.

You’re not trying to "win." You’re solving. You’re crafting solutions that meet both your needs and theirs. Stay flexible, be fair, and keep learning with every deal.

And don’t forget to debrief yourself afterward:

  • What worked?

  • What didn’t?

  • Where did you get flustered?

  • Where did you hold the line?

S - Set the stage

U - Uncover the Issues

C - Confine the Issues

C - Confirm Intent and Authority

E - Evaluate the Issues

S - Solve the Problem

S - Satisfaction Check

You’ve got a deal. Well done.

Before you ride off into the sunset, check in:

  • Something like:
    “I know you didn’t get everything you wanted here today. We didn’t either. That’s just the nature of business. But I think what we’ve got here is a good, solid agreement we can both live with.

You’re not fishing for compliments. You’re testing the foundation. People remember how they felt at the end of a negotiation. 

Quick Recap: The SUCCESS Formula

  • Set the Stage

  • Uncover the Issues

  • Confine the Issues

  • Confirm Intent and Authority

  • Evaluate the Issues

  • Solve the Problem

  • Satisfaction Check

Final Word

Two final caveats - Don’t skip any steps.

Most negotiation blunders come from skipping steps. People rush. They assume. They skip confirm or evaluate or jump straight into offering without listening first.

Secondly - Trust the process!  This is a tried and proven roadmap.

The SUCCESS formula is simple, but not soft. It’s strong because it’s structured. Share it with your team. Use it until it becomes second nature.  Here’s what I’ve noticed over the years - the first time you use it, it will be a bit awkward..  The second time you use it, you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is.  The third time you use it, it will feel like you’ve done it forever!  

Negotiation isn’t about being the loudest. It’s about being the clearest. It’s about knowing how to steer the room without shouting. And when you get good at it, everything gets better, your deals, your relationships, and your confidence.

So go ahead. Try it in your next conversation. You might be surprised at how far a little structure and empathy can take you.

Good negotiating to you!

Bob Gibson

Negotiation strategist Bob Gibson has assured the business success of his clients for 20 years in 20 countries.  His forte is in two areas: training businesspeople to negotiate more effectively, and coaching teams thru negotiation situations. 

His "Street-Smart® Negotiation Series" has proven an effective vehicle to convey his decades of real-world experience to business people in North America, Europe, Mexico, Asia, and the Middle East.

Gibson has written articles and been featured in such publications as Selling Power, Sales and Marketing Management, and Your Company, and has been featured nationally on CNBC television.

Bob’s newest venture is the production of a TV pilot – “Extreme Negotiation”.  The first segment will be an interview with a negotiator who talks “jumpers” off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Bob Gibson

“I only do three things. I teach people to negotiate more effectively.

I coach teams through important negotiations when the results matter.

I speak at associations and conventions to inform and entertain.”

If you have a need for any of those, let’s talk.

415-517-8150

bgibson@negotiatingwisdom.com

Brenna Redpath